In the wake of the podcast opportunity that I enjoyed with Alan, I’ve had some brief exchanges that basically stem around “how did you get [insert opportunity here]?”
This comes up from time to time when I manage to do something unexpectedly cool, and I get why. Relatively speaking, I’m no one of outside interest. Not noteworthy, outside this circle of gracious and kind people that I know. I’m not putting myself down with that. I’m coming from a place of active humility. I don’t have this expectation of the world at large to see me as A Big Deal.
Anyway, really my answer to that inquiry has always been, “Well, I asked, and they said yes.” That’s all it is. The spoken no is a powerful word, but the potential no is a far more nefarious enemy – and the potential no exists as part of our inner dialogue. The potential no is spoken in our own voice, to ourselves.
Plenty of people tell me no. I’ve gotten no. I’ve gotten “now’s not a good time, maybe in a few months” (which is not exactly a no yet). I’ve gotten “yes, let’s do this” but scheduling becomes a problem. These are merely things that happen when you put yourself out there. Just remember, though, you get told no sometimes, but nobody can tell you yes if you haven’t said anything at all.
So yeah, that’s my motivational talk or whatever. Being afraid of the potential no is really just our insecurity’s attempt to put one over on us. Practice telling that voice to shut the hell up.